Cleat’s Shore Nudist Beach is described in the book ‘Bare Britain’ as ‘probably the least visited nudist beach anywhere in the known universe‘.
The ‘Marbella of the North‘, as no-one has ever called it, is surely the least appropriate location for nakedness of any kind; especially bathing!
But Cleat’s Shore is definitely the place if – for some unknown reason – you want to feel the icy Scottish winds whip around your nether-regions without hindrance, or if you have a strong desire to push the physical boundaries of nudism to completely new, record-breaking levels!
Frankly, even if you turn up in your finest Arctic gear you’re gonna feel really rather chilly, so hats off to those hardy / borderline insane souls who get completely and totally butt-naked! [Advice on treating Hypothermia can be found here!!]
And as always, please respect the fact that some people still like to wear clothes (weird, huh?!); so don’t flash your flaps at those conservative textile-wearing types, OK?!
On the map, look for the heart-shaped bum !!
First, catch your ferry! Arran is connected with the Scottish mainland by Caledonian MacBrayne ferries, from Ardrossan to Brodick. The crossing takes just under an hour and the fare for a car and two adults is about £80. For foot passengers, single fares are roughly £5, and as you won’t be carrying heavy bags full of clothes, this is a fun option!
If travelling on foot, buses meet the ferry on arrival and the journey around the south of the island (on the A841 road) to Lagg takes about 45 minutes.
From the Lagg Inn proceed westward (about 600m) along the road to where a track signposted ‘Cleat’s Shore‘ leads off to the left. Follow the track to the beach, and remove all your clothing – and that of those around you – as quickly as possible. What jolly good fun!
It is also possible to park cars at the end of the track, very close to the beach; which is handy for when the Scottish climate gets the better of you. [Once again, advice on treating Hypothermia can be found here!!]
Facilities at Cleat’s Shore Nudist Beach
There are no facilities here, sadly, but then I guess that’s the price to pay for perfect isolation and stunning scenery; such as that which you will find here, at Cleat’s Shore.
So it’s probs best to bring everything you need from home, but as you won’t need to bring swimmers or additional clothing, you’ll have more room in your bags for some over-priced olives and some smelly French cheese. #nakedwin !